UNIVERSITY OF MIAMI ENTRANCE EXAM- FOOTBALL PLAYER
VERSION
Time Limit: 3 WKS
1. What language is spoken in France?
2. Give a dissertation on the ancient Babylonian
Empire with particular reference to architecture,
literature, law and social conditions -OR- give the
first name of Pierre Trudeau.
3. Would you ask William Shakespeare to
A. build a bridge
B. sail the ocean
C. lead an army or
D. WRITE A PLAY
4. What religion is the Pope?
A. Jewish
B. Catholic
C. Hindu
D. Polish
E. Agnostic (check only one)
5. Metric conversion. How many feet is 0.0 meters?
6. What time is it when the big hand is on the 12 and
the little hand is on the 5?
7. How many commandments was Moses
given?(approximately)
8. What are people in America's far north called?
A. Westerners
B. Southerners
C. Northerners
9. Spell -- Bush, Carter and Clinton
10. Six kings of England have been called George, the
last one being George the Sixth. Name the previous
five.
11. Where does rain come from?
A. Macy's
B. a 7-11
C. Canada
D. the sky
12. Can you explain Einstein's Theory of Relativity?
A. yes
B. no
13. What are coat hangers used for?
14. The Star Spangled Banner is the National Anthem
for what country?
15. Explain Le Chateliers Principle of Dynamic
Equilibrium -OR-spell your name in BLOCK LETTERS.
16. Where is the basement in a three story building
located?
17. Which part of America produces the most oranges?
A. New York
B. Florida
C. Canada
D. Wisconsin
18. Advanced math. If you have three apples, how many
apples do you have?
19. What does NBC (National Broadcasting Corp.) stand
for?
20. The University of Miami tradition for efficiency
began when? (approximately)
A. B.C.
B. A.D.
C. still waiting
*You must answer three or more questions correctly to
qualify.
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(This is for the truth page)
A LITTLE PERSPECTIVE ON THE NUMBER 11
The date of the attack: 9/11 - 9 + 1 + 1 = 11
September 11th is the 254th day of the year: 2 + 5 + 4
= 11
After September 11th there are 111 days left to the
end of the year
119 is the area code to Iraq/Iran. 1 + 1 + 9 = 11
Twin Towers - standing side by side, looks like the
number 11
The first plane to hit the towers was Flight 11
I Have More...
State of New York - The 11th State added to the Union
New York City - 11 Letters
Afghanistan - 11 Letters
The Pentagon - 11 Letters
Ramzi Yousef - 11 Letters (convicted or orchestrating
the attack on the WTC in 1993)
Flight 11 - 92 on board - 9 + 2 = 11
Flight 77 - 65 on board - 6 + 5 = 11
Part Two:
MY RESPONSE:
Oh my! How worried should I be? There are 11 letters
in the name "Donald Berry!" I'm going into hiding NOW.
See you in a few weeks.
Wait a second... just realized "YOU CAN'T HIDE" also
has 11 letters! What am I going to do? Help me!!! The
terrorists are after me! ME! I can't believe it! Oh
know, there must be someplace on the planet Earth I
could hide! But no... PLANET EARTH" has 11 letters,
too!
Maybe Nostradamus can help me. But dare I trust him?
There are 11 letters in "NOSTRADAMUS." I know, the
Red Cross can help. No they can't... 11 letters in
"THE RED CROSS," can't trust them. I would rely on
self-defense, but "SELF DEFENSE" has 11 letters in it,
too! Can someone help?
Anyone? If so, send me email. No, don't... "SEND ME
EMAIL" has 11 letters...
Will this never end? I'm going insane! "GOING
INSANE???" Eleven letters!!
Nooooooooooo!!!!!! I guess I'll die alone, even though
"I'LL DIE ALONE" has 11 letters...Oh my, I just
realized that America is doomed! Our Independence Day
is July 4th ... 7/4 ... 7+4=11!
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Q: What do Kabul and Hiroshima have in common?
A: Nothing,.... yet.
_______________________________________________________
Q: How do you play Taliban bingo?
A: B-52...F-16...B-1...
_______________________________________________________
Q: What is the Taliban's national bird?
A: Duck
_______________________________________________________
Q: How is Bin Laden like Fred Flintstone?
A: Both may look out their windows and see Rubble.
_______________________________________________________
Q: Why does the Afghanistan Navy have glass-bottomed
boats?
A: So they can see their Air Force.
_______________________________________________________
Q: What do Osama bin laden and General Custer have in
common?
A: They both want to know where those Tomahawks are
coming from!
_______________________________________________________
Q: What's the difference between the Taliban and a
bucket of shit?
A: The bucket
_______________________________________________________
Q: How do you stop a Taliban tank ?
A: Shoot the guys pushing it.
_______________________________________________________
How can you tell when a boy becomes a man in
Afghanistan?
When his diaper moves from his ass to his head
_______________________________________________________
Obviously you're unable to assimilate my stimulating
concepts into your
blighted and simplistic world-view.
_______________________________________________________
I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's
hard to pronounce.
_______________________________________________________
Any connection between your reality and mine is
purely coincidental.
_______________________________________________________
I can see your point, but I still think you're full of
shit.
_______________________________________________________
I like you. You remind me of me when I was young and stupid.
_______________________________________________________
What am I?
Flypaper for freaks!?!?
_______________________________________________________
I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.
_______________________________________________________
I'll give you a nice, shiny quarter if you'll go away.
_______________________________________________________
I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.
_______________________________________________________
I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.
_______________________________________________________
It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of Karma to burn off.
_______________________________________________________
Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial.
_______________________________________________________
How about never? Is never good for you?
_______________________________________________________
I'm really easy to get along with once you people
learn to worship me.
_______________________________________________________
You sound reasonable. It must be time to up my
medication.
_______________________________________________________
You're just jealous because the little voices talk to
ME.
_______________________________________________________
I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.
_______________________________________________________
I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a
message...
_______________________________________________________
I don't work here. I'm a consultant.
_______________________________________________________
Who me? I just wander from room to room.
_______________________________________________________
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